What the word Capable means to me

via Daily Prompt: Capable

 

I’ve seen quite a few of these daily prompts in my feed before but have yet to respond to one. Today that’s different as the chosen word has had a consistent presence throughout my time in the education system, especially in recent years.So what does capable mean? A quick search using Google brings up the definition “having the ability, fitness, or quality necessary to do or achieve a specified thing.”. Pretty straightforward to understand, nothing too complicated.

To me however capability represents something more important, its not just about having the skills to do a specific job but more broad than that. To me the word capable encompasses the emotional and social aspects of being human, being able to understand yourself and those which surround you. There was a time when I was enrolled on a course to help understand myself and the problems I faced, one of the lecturers there (who was also my main tutor for support) would always say that I was one of the more capable students they’ve seen. They obviously meant that as a compliment to help boost confidence but I never felt that way, instead it would only fuel my decent as my reaction always was to rail against it. Usually with awful consequences for the state my mental health.

It’s not just about dealing with people or yourself, its also about how ready I am for a job. This very concept has caused me much pain over the past few years as I dwell on this thought. After all having a job is one of the most important things a person can do, it occupies their time, gives them a purpose, the financial assets to enjoy life. Being older than most people in the college system is pretty disheartening as realistically I should be in a job, working my way up through the hierarchy and into the higher echelons of business. When I see myself and where I am, in comparison to my peers from school, who are getting on in life, have successful relationships, have jobs, and for at least half of the women they even have kids. It’s a stark reminder of where I am and where I should be, rather than the position I find myself in. I toss and turn between the different sides of whether I feel capable or not, usually falling on the “not” side of things.

This word is quite a lot more influential in my life than it should be and has had more impact on me than most others.

 

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